Really Funny Videos
& Jokes
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Evans Politics
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Come back often to see our
Really funny videos and jokes!
A NOTE OF PROTEST: Here at Evans Politics we are trying to entertain our visitors as best we can. We have been “Websensed” for some time; that is, computers with the Websense software for blocking websites which display objectionable material has BLOCKED us, presumably because of what is on this page. Was it the Jeff Dunham comedy routine?? Is that what got your shriveled up prude posteriors in an uproar??? Heh, bunko? Well I’m not about to take the Jeff Dunham routine or any other perfectly good comedy bit off a page which prides itself on being funny above all else.
Are the “regular,” i.e., for those under 18, video pages at YouTube websensed? I imagine all the other “adult” or “objectionable material” type filters have us blocked, too! Well, I’ll tell you what. HERE are some videos you might really get your pants in an uproar over. As long as they’re going to filter me, I might as well have some fun, AND SO WILL YOU!
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Listen to the Best Streaming Electronic Rock and Pop Music, here.
Watch the Best Music Videos, here.
Queen:
I want to break free
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The Top Ten
Super Bowl Commercials of 2008
(not so funny, I guess, but entertaining as heck)
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10 Classic South Park
Celebrity Impersonations
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New Frank Caliendo
on Letterman During Impressionist Week
(put on your thinking caps!)
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Frank Caliendo
Bush in History
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4 Banned Commercials
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Hilarious Cats!
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George W. Bush
Is NOT an ordinary ass!!
(Proof.)
Now send your friends a link to this page!!!
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Everybody KNOWS Liberals
DANCE BETTER THAN REPUBLICANS:
Obama and McCain – Dance Off!!
(but wait, who’s that uninvited contestant???)
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Hitler’s Real Estate Downfall
(The housing bubble hits hard,
and the Fuhrer is NOT pleased!)
(Excuse if you will the bad taste of this.
It is hilarious, nonetheless.)
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Frank Caliendo – Impressions
(with shameless advertising!)
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For those of you who are sick of getting emails that tell you to forward it to at least X number of people in the next 15 minutes so that wonderful things and miracles will happen if you do, or there will be serious consequences if you don’t, watch this video. This is hilarious! (…and it’s ABOUT TIME someone did this!) Click here … go ahead, click, I dare you.
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Four videos
From Monty Python
Argument Clinic – Full Version
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Monty Python – The Cheese Shop Sketch
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Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
Three Questions
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In these Troubled Times
of Wall Street Bailouts,
let’s examine why in the world
we might be a bit leery of these Guys:
The Merchant Banker
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The Simsons – Lie Detector
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Al Bundy at the dentist
You know, MARRIED [WITH CHILDREN]
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Aniboom.com Prime Time 3d
(Yes, bow down to the great god that is television…)
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Peter Sellers in the
Pink Panther films of the Seventies
(a montage)
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The Pink Panther Strikes Again
Cato vs. Clouseau
(In Spanish No Less)
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Jeff Dunham & Walter:
Arguing with Myself
This one is truly objectionable, but
it’s funny as heck. It is perhaps not
suitable for those under 17.
I also apologize to those who are Indian.
(I can’t help it, it’s too funny…)
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A Few Jokes is All It Takes
NEW!
Creative Puns for Educated Minds
- The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
- I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
- She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
- The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
- A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
- A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
- Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- The sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
- A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
- The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
- Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
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In the beginning…
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli (yech!) and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s and Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?”
And Man said “Yeah,” and woman said,
“And another one with sprinkles.”
And they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.
And woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.”
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side.
And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.”
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan presented man with cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
And man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald’s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan asked, “You want fries with that?”
And man replied, “Yea! And super size ‘em.”
And man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
…Then Satan created HMOs.
Words Women Use
1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh: A nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say, You’re welcome.
8.) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying BLANK YOU!
9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but she is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking “what’s wrong”, for the woman’s response refer to # 3.
Tax Story Laugh
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling…I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Ralph. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “Okay. Go ahead.”
Ralph says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thinks a moment and says, “No way! It’s a bet.”
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops. Ralph says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”
The auditor can tell Ralph isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
“Want to go double or nothing?” Ralph asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
“Are you okay?” the auditor asks.
“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Ralph told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official’s desk and that you’d be happy about it.”
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The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the
next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the
sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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Now that I have all the Christians, Satanists, women, conservative Republicans AND I.R.S. agents angry at me, did you enjoy my little collection of jokes and videos?
I invite you to send me feedback.
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Send mail to Paul.
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